The idiocy means its working

Dieting makes you absolutely retarded.

I think instead of losing fat, I'm losing brain cells. I allowed myself a half cup of mixed berries today with my lunch. That was my "dessert." Don't get me wrong, I do actually love fruit but it is no dessert. Desserts are completely man made - they do not exist in nature. They cannot be picked from a tree or harvested or need to be washed before eating. Desserts are things that contain obscene amounts of butter, sugar, cream, and fat. Desserts give you a feeling of indulgent guilt after you eat them. I don't crave an apple at 4 in the afternoon with a cup of coffee. We don't cut into big pieces of banana at weddings! I never feel bad about eating watermelon. Come on!

Fruit is not a dessert. I might not be eating anything, but its no dessert item.

Well my non-dessert "dessert" item totally pulled one over on me. I was looking for it on my desk, wanting to nosh on the last of the raspberries. Then I realized it wasn't on my desk, because I had put it away because I finished eating it moments earlier.

I'm an idiot.